


ready to be found

by skybeom



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: College AU, Comfort, Cuddling, M/M, Roommates, Sad Choi Beomgyu, Vague relationship, mentions of OT5, soogyu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:02:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26144566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skybeom/pseuds/skybeom
Summary: beomgyu finds his safe space in the form of choi soobin.
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu & Choi Soobin, Choi Beomgyu/Choi Soobin
Comments: 8
Kudos: 82





	ready to be found

**Author's Note:**

> hi this is my very first piece of writing on here so i'm rather nervous T_T this is really just something that came to me at 1am. sorry its so dramatic but hopefully i'll be back with something more lighthearted. sorry for any mistakes and please tell me what you think in the comments ^_^

soobin immediately noticed something wrong with beomgyu as soon as he entered their shared apartment. usually, the energetic boy’s arrival would not go amiss; _“soobin hyung!” with arms wide open, face adorned with a loving beam_ but tonight, tonight soobin could have easily missed his entrance if not for the creaky hinges on the front door that they’ve been meaning to fix. tonight beomgyu was a ghost, quiet, a mere whisper in a silent room. seemed like he was trying not be seen, trying not to take up space where he untied his laces in the corner. to say the least, soobin was unnerved by this unusual silence.

“gyu..?” soobin carefully called from his spot on the sofa where he’d been scrolling twitter for the last thirty minutes. the younger boy turned his head to soobin but didn’t fully meet his gaze.he grimaced and removed his other shoe before making his way towards the sofa, towards soobin. beomgyu sat beside him before wrapping his arms around soobin, to which the older reciprocated without hesitation and pulled him closer. for a few moments, it was silent. only their shallow breaths filled the room and soobin felt the way beomgyu’s eyelashes brushed against his neck. it wasn’t rare for them to sit like this, cuddled into each other with beomgyu looking ever so small. however, it was rare they sat like this absent of conversation. beomgyu was usually so talkative.

“hyung” he breathed out.

“mm, what is it gyu?” soobin approached the topic with caution. beomgyu had always needed coaxing to open up. he wasn’t an open book. never had been. tonight would be no different. “you can tell hyung anything.” he assured him while stroking his hair. beomgyu simply shook his head unsure where to start. what to say. his thoughts were not easy to navigate right now. it was like someone had threw them all into a box, rearranged the words and shook it all up. broken pieces too small to pick up, let alone try and put back together. he pulled back and was met with the most gentle gaze. _soobin was always so gentle._

truth be told, beomgyu would much rather sit like this as long as possible and then drift off to sleep in soobin’s arms but with the reassuring words the older boy whispered in his ears, beomgyu felt he deserved to know. he wanted to let soobin in. badly so but it was hard. there was a glass wall around him and beomgyu had never learned how to break it down. he had been watching everyone else from inside of his walls for his whole life trying to break out, trying to cement his place in this world too. but now here was soobin, holding out a hand. it was so in reach but beomgyu knew if he grabbed on he wouldn’t know how to let go. soobin had been the first person to make beomgyu feel seen. he was the first person that gave the word “home” a meaning to beomgyu and was the person that found beomgyu when he thought he would never find his way back.

the least he could do was let soobin in, when soobin had welcomed him into his world so easily.

so he tried again. “hyung..” 

“it’s okay beomgyu, i'm listening.”

the younger boy took a shaky breath in. he lifted his head away from soobin’s shoulder and tried to blink away the tears glassing over his eyes. the tears he had held back all day. he didn’t know where to start, how to start. so that’s how he starts.

“i don’t know what’s wrong with me hyung.”

soobin tilts his head at this statement but doesn’t say anything. his kind eyes reassure beomgyu enough to continue.

“everything is just so lonely and- and it shouldn’t be because i have you. i have yeonjunie hyung and taehyun and kai but i just feel like i’m not here. fully.” his voice breaks before he can continue but soobin just continues to soothe him, holds his hand and strokes his thumb across beomgyu’s smaller hand. beomgyu doesn’t dare to look up right now. until he does and god does he regret it. soobin’s expression mirrors his right now. glassy eyes, downcast into the sofa. he looks defeated. beomgyu didn’t even feel he had the right to let this break him because _you did this beomgyu._

silence. a deep breath.

“oh beomgyu. come here little one.” soobin holds out his arms to beomgyu gathering him back up in his embrace. _why do we fit together so perfectly?_

“im scared soobin.” it’s a whisper into his hoodie that soobin barely catches but he does nevertheless. beomgyu lifts his head and fiddles with soobin’s drawstring “when college began i was so alone but you found me and it felt so right. everything felt okay for once.” 

“i know gyu. i know”

“and now i don’t know how i’ll live without you. you’re my only home hyung. you’re my home.” beomgyu’s tears were a steady stream now. he had never felt this vulnerable in his whole life but with soobin there it didn’t feel unsafe. god was it scary but it felt okay.

soobin’s hand gently grazed under beomgyu’s chin, lifting his gaze. “beomgyu. look at me bub.” beomgyu does what he is told for soobin. _everything i do is for you hyung._ “i don’t want to live without you either. and i didn’t know you felt this lost gyu i-“ he takes a deep breath in, still trying to find the right words to console the shaking boy. “life is scary beomgyu. it’s okay to be frightened and lost but i don’t want you to feel that alone.” he continues to hold beomgyu close. close as possible because he wants- no he needs beomgyu to know that he’s safe here with soobin. _you’re my only home hyung_ he had said with such vulnerability that soobin was holding on like a lifeline. how much tighter did he need to hold on for beomgyu to understand soobin would be holding on forever. 

the evening grew darker around them but the two boys barely moved. beomgyu curled tighter into soobin. soobin held him closer, _closer closer._

“thank you, soobinie hyung” beomgyu muses into the air. they both know the words beneath his breath. _i love you. i can’t live without you._ his little hands curling into soobin’s bigger ones. 

“you know i'm always here” ( _it’s always going to be us)_ was his response. the truth. these two boys built a home together and learned what it meant to find and be found. beomgyu wasn’t sure where he was headed but he knew at least, he had been found by soobin. soobin who had welcomed beomgyu into his misfit friend group. soobin who looked after beomgyu so lovingly. soobin who did everything to make sure beomgyu stayed healthy. soobin who was _home._ this path wasn’t so lonely with soobin, crossed beomgyu’s mind as he finally drifted into sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> tysm for reading!  
> 


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